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June 24, 2005
Meltdown
So I'm working on this baby blanket for a friend of ours who is about to have a baby. Rob originally told me she was due in September. Then two weeks ago he told me the blessed event was actually in late July. So I got the yarn and got busy. On Monday he sent me mail saying "Hediyeh's baby shower is July 6th". RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF OPENING WEEK. Anyway.
It's been going very well - I'm fairly comfortable with short rows. Anyway, I went up to visit the parentals this week (this is why I have been incommunicado lately) to have my mom "help me" make the Miracle Worker pinafores. Really, she's doing them all herself with assistance from Elizabeth, who is less of a sewing idiot than I am. I offered to help, but they told me to sit and work on the blanket. So I did.
All was tranquil and domestic. I got to the end of the second section of the blanket, where I had to pick up my wrapped stitches. I struggled with the first few, then looked at my work, and it seemed...odd. I undid the stitches and attempted to re-wrap them. I then tried to pick them up again. Now there were gaping holes in my work. As the unfortunate readers of my blog know, I've had some troubles with undoing short rows before. By now I was starting to freak out a little. I tried fixing the stitches again, but now there were not only holes, but great big loops of yarn sticking out of the holes. It was as if SATAN had taken over my knitting.
A stream of profanity began to pour from my mouth, startling my mother and sister. I started to hyperventilate as I realized I was going to have to frog. I slowly ripped out a few rows, then violently ripped out a few more, then threw the whole thing across the room and burst into hysterical tears. I mean, I was SOBBING. I think it was partly due to pent-up theatre stress, but DAMN. It was ridiculous. Fortunately, my family members all know what to do in a situation like this. Mommy ran for kleenex and a cold wet washcloth for my forehead, and Elizabeth ran into the kitchen and got me a great big Tanqueray and tonic. Ethan just stood there and stared at me disgustedly.
Being a proper knitblogger, I had Elizabeth document the situation. The picture is a little blurry because I looked so sad, Elizabeth was starting to laugh/cry.
ANYWAY, later after another couple of gins and tonics, I was calmly re-knitting the frogged area. I was a row away from the contentious row, and I said, "Okay, I think I'm almost back to where I started." My mom, not missing a beat, said, "Is that going to happen here?" I just looked at her. She said, "Um, I mean, because we'd like to be ready with the wet washcloths and the gin."
She's the coolest. So is Elizabeth.
(And in case you're wondering, it turns out that I can't read. I got to the trouble spot and re-read the instructions. I was supposed to slip the first 26 wrapped stitches onto a holder (which I'd done), then knit across, picking up the wrapped stitches. Of course, I'd neglected to notice that in between the 26 wrapped stitches and the other 40ish wrapped stitches were about six REGULAR, NON-SHORT-ROWED stitches. I'd attempted to pick them up, then when that failed, I'd created these crazy loops, then tried to pick THEM up, and, oy, what a mess. I am as dumb as a sack of snakes.)
(But now I'm almost done with the third section and it looks great.)
(knock on wood.)
Comments
Ahh! You poor thing. I need to remember your prescription for knitting meltdowns - Gin and tonic sounds like more fun than obsessively cleaning the house. :)
Posted by: Megan at June 25, 2005 11:11 AM
Awww... well, nothing a little drinkie won't fix, right? I love the description of that blanket - "not for the faint of heart." Hahahaha! I love the blanket pattern, too :).
Posted by: grumperina at June 26, 2005 7:52 AM
Oh the humanity! (picture 3) Your mom sounds like a crackup. Tee hee. Kind of glad I just read about it instead of actually being there.
I'm sure the stress level will be subsiding after this weekend of theatrical, um, miracles. ;-)
Posted by: Bob at June 26, 2005 9:34 AM
And the weekend ain't over yet! Good thing I'm stocked up on gin. :)
Posted by: Kate at June 26, 2005 10:04 AM
In the long run, stocking up on stress busting endorphins is a better game. :-)
Posted by: Bob at June 26, 2005 4:04 PM
I'm all in favor of all of those things on the ways to produce endorphins list, but I really think they need to add "fondling yarn" to the list.
Posted by: Kate at June 26, 2005 8:36 PM
Ack! I feel your pain. Not only did I have a knitting meltdown a week or so ago, but I also have friends expecting a baby, and I absolutely know that their handknit gift will not be ready for the baby shower... and maybe not even for the due date. But oh well.
Posted by: Madalyn at June 27, 2005 9:26 AM