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July 23, 2005
theatre of the absurd
I should have just stayed at work today. Work was great today. I got the most kickass surprise from my secret pal, and I had great fun picking out yarn for various fun people, and I added seven new colors of Debbie Bliss Baby Cashmerino to the armoire in an extremely pleasing configuration, which gave me great joy.
However, the day all sort of went downhill the second I got to the theatre. Somebody I really love got stomped on, and I all I wanted to do was make it better, but of course I couldn't do anything about it, and then somebody else entirely trashed on me and accused me of not helping out around the theatre. It was so utterly ridiculous that it was almost funny, but that on top of the other crap just pushed me over the edge. I *tried* to be calm about it, I really did. but goddamn it.
Why do I always mess everything up? Why can't I just keep my freaking mouth shut? I'd like to not be me for a while. I'd like to be less stupid and selfish and destructive and horrible. I'd like to stop hearing that I have "a strong personality". Yeah, bite me. So did Godzilla.
I'm shutting up now.
Comments
This is the second time I've tried to post. Coudn't say anything the first time. Hard to say anything constructive this time. I don't agree with your self assesssment, certainly not to the extent you are feeling it, but you are entitled to your own opinion of yourself, perhaps it is the opinion that matters most. Hope you're well.
Posted by: bob at July 24, 2005 5:46 PM
It's all good.
I think I was, as Rob says, "being a dramaturge. I mean drama queen."
Posted by: Kate at July 24, 2005 9:09 PM