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October 10, 2005
pants on fire
This is ostensibly a knitting blog, so I really feel like I should keep yucky personal things out of it. However, it's my blog and I can cry if I want to.
For the last two days I've lain on my bed in the dark, waiting for time to pass, praying for sleep, and sobbing until there were no tears left.
I don't know how I managed to get up and go to work today, but I did. At some point in the day, I started to become filled with rage, and I wound up knitting like a maniac.
Nathania pointed out that I had enough done to try on my Katrina rib sweater, so I did. It's going to look freaking fabulous. Here's a terrible picture I took:
The frantic knitting helped a little, but I'm still sick to my stomach with rage and fury and sorrow and grief and loss. What I really want to do right now is go climbing. I haven't climbed in over a year, but I have so much intensity bottled up right now that I could probably do a 5.9.
Comments
Hey, feel better! Put the grief and the rage into knitting as you work through your troubles. I'm sending you smiles from the other coast! :) :) :)
Posted by: grumperina at October 10, 2005 7:56 PM
Hang in there Snake. The sweater is fantastic. Let me know if you want to talk.
Posted by: SFKnitter at October 10, 2005 9:12 PM
I don't know what is filling you with such rage, fury, sorrow, grief and loss, but if I can do anything to help, you know where to find me!
Posted by: Kris at October 10, 2005 9:30 PM
It's trite to say I hope you feel better soon, but... I hope you feel better soon.
Posted by: Kathryn at October 11, 2005 12:48 AM
Your boobs look fantastic. So does the sweater. If you feel like climbing, go for it. I find that it is better to let the rage out (constructively) than to hold it in. Very bad things happen when you hold negative emotions in. (((hugs)))
Posted by: grace at October 11, 2005 6:24 AM
Ooh Kate, I'm so sorry. I think that I know where you are coming from and how it feels. Thanks for the comment. It really helps me get through tough days to understand that there are others besides me in the same boat but not really in that whole misery loves company way. It does mean a lot to feel like I'm not alone--I'm not the only one going through something (so, okay, maybe it is a little bit "misery loves company"--but not in a bad "wish anyone else ill" way!) Hang in there and know that I'm here to talk if you want.
Posted by: Collette at October 11, 2005 7:04 AM
hang in there sister!
Posted by: rebecca at October 11, 2005 8:50 AM
What the hell is going on? Okay, you don't have to tell, but let me know if I can help in any way, okay? And, your Katrina looks fantastic. So fantastic that I've decided to knit it too even though someday I know that I will be standing next to you in your Katrina and you will be looking awesomely boobtastic and I will be looking, um, notsomuch boobtastic. Love you.
Posted by: Lolly at October 11, 2005 6:40 PM